Someone left a worksheet with a diagram of the male reproductive system on the resource room table. That’s not weird. Someone leaves something on the table- everyday: anything from listing the causes, events and impact of the French Revolution to finding the intersection of the locus of a point and a line, to the conjugation of irregular Spanish verbs. My job, besides being able to be able to immediately recall, explain and facilitate the answers (simultaneously for everyone) is to be able to make sure your homework gets back in your bag, so you can produce it when the teacher asks for it).
I picked up the biology worksheet and asked several people if it was their penis.
A few just said no. Then I asked Angel.
Angel: “Nope, I have a much larger one.”
Me,: “Uh- too much information for me, Angel.”
Angel: “No- miss, I didn’t mean it that way- I have a much larger diagram in my notebook.”
Me: “Go home Angel, have a good weekend.” (I would have liked to add you and your penis, but I understand boundaries, and have a significant pension to keep.)
The worksheet got filed with all unclaimed worksheets, in the circular file. It will rest there comfortably with the causes of the French Revolution, the conjugated verbs and the intersection of a circle and a line- until the night janitor empties the garbage.
PS: As I typed the last sentence I couldn't help but make off-color connections with all the topics listed above, from the proletariat being screwed to conjugal verbs to the proverbial hand signal where the index finger from one hand intersects the circle created with the thumb and index finger of the other.
Too much information?
You try being surrounded by teenage hormones all day and see how you start to think.